How well do you know YOUR child?

This morning's weigh in was actually better than I expected. I maintained. No gain...no loss. Why is this good? Because after my doctor appointment on Tuesday, I was frustrated and came home and ate an ENTIRE bag of Hershey's chocolate eggs and then got french fries on the way to teaching. Now THAT"S a bad day! On top of that, we celebrated Steve's birthday on Sunday with an ice cream cake from Baskin Robbins and I HAD to eat some.














So that's why maintaining weight this week is a pleasant surprise.

In other news, I had a funny discovery last week when I went to register Aaron for preschool. I got his birth certificate from the safety deposit box and headed to the school. At a red light, I got it out to look at it. I don't even know why. This is what I discovered:












Apparently, an error has been made, unless they know something that I don't. I have little BOY, not a girl. I don't even know where to start to correct this mistake but I assume it needs to be taken care of. I'm sure it will probably cost money, too.

By the Way, Happy Spring! It started this morning while we were sleeping.

Friday update

Two pound weight loss...hurray.

I am feeling very frustrated and achy so I won't bother with much more posting until my questions are answered on Tuesday.

We will be celebrating Steve's 36th birthday on Sunday so I will share some thoughts about this loving husband and father later this weekend when I am feeling more cheerful.

Have a great long weekend.

Mountain Follow-Up

An interesting day.

The conference was about what I'd expected. Noah's teacher did say in way nohow would she want to have him repeat kindergarten, which was a relief. She also agreed that he would not have done well in a regular class of 24 kids (he has 8). At one point I was so frustrated, I actually started CRYING right in front of the teacher. I hope it was just hormones. How embarrassing! I had a chance to look at his journal and I am glad that we nipped the "girlfriend" thing in the bud. He had actually drawn a picture of them KISSING in his journal and had written "Kylie is Noah's girl" with all words spelled correctly. A few days later, he had drawn a picture of Kylie in jail. He had told the teacher that she wasn't his girl friend anymore. I think they had a lover's spat.

Doctor appt. brought more questions than answers. I knew my weight was bad but I was not prepared to learn that I am 11lbs heavier than I was it my appt last year. That was a bit of an eye opener. After much discussion of current symptoms, I left having relinquished three vials of blood and an ultrasound being scheduled some time in the near future. Hopefully we will have answer soon. I am hoping for the problem being thyroid...I could at least blame the weight gain on that.

The other interesting piece of info that came out of the dr. app. was that my doctor no longer does OB. Apparently he felt he is getting too old to get up in the middle of the night. I guess it's good that my body doesn't want to have any more kids because I can't imagine trying to find a new OB.

Noah has the day off tomorrow because of conferences. I'm not sure what we will do yet but I think we need to do something fun to get my mind off today.

Have a peaceful night.

A Nervous Thursday of Mountains

Wow...it's a slightly uncomfortable afternoon ahead.
I weighed in this morning with a less than thrilling result...down 1/2 lb. Am I really working this hard for a half of a pound? Hopefully next week will be better or I may get discouraged. That seems to always be what happens. Maybe my body is just adjusting to fewer calories and it is going to take a while to jump start weight loss.

So the first mountain I need to conquer this afternoon is Noah's conference at 1:20. Unfortunately, I can pretty much predict how it will go: "Noah is very bright and knows all of the content area for Kindergarten and many first grade sight words... he is still causing frequent disruptions in class and I am concerned about his behavior in First Grade"
Wouldn't be nice to have a pleasant surprise and for once hear "Wow,. Noah is just so quiet and such a great listener I hardly ever know he's there." Dream on!

Since I had the babysitter for the afternoon anyway, I figured I might as well tackle two mountains together (and since all the grandparents are down south, leaving me without back up help hint hint hint) I scheduled my annual for an hour after after the conference. This is usually not that big of a deal other than being just plain yucky, but I do have a few concerns and on top of that, my OBGYN makes me feel guilty about my weight every year. I do not change though because I trust his doctor skills so much and he did save AA's life when he was born.

I go straight from the doctor to teaching all night, including on little boy who spends his entire lesson making it very clear that the only reason he's taking piano is because his band teacher says he has to and he fights with me every time I explain to him that he actually needs to learn how to count if he wants to be a percussionist.

So it is looking to be kind of a stressful day. I think I'll take the kids out for lunch before the sitter gets here, just for a small diversion.

Several of you have tagged me for memes. I am sorry I haven't gotten to them yet...I am trying to blog only when the kids are in bed at night. Bare with me.

Morning Update

50th Post...yea! I'm half way to my first 100.

I will try to post a regular entry later but I just have to say, my week #1 weigh in this morning was a happy one...down 4 LBS. I know from experience that each week won't be huge like this but it tells me I'm on the right track. I have done very well with my calorie counting although last night dinner at church made things very difficult. I saved most of the day though and just too very small helpings of everything. I split a TINY brownie with AA for dessert and the funny thing was I didn't even crave all the cupcakes that were up there. My husband has been very supportive which is a good thing because I know I couldn't do this all on my own. I will be turning in my application for assistance at the Y tomorrow after I get my pay check stub from the music store. I really hope they see us as good candidates.

My mother-in-law is interested in joining me in this quest so I need to get the courage to reveal my scale number to her. When it is all said and done, I hope to post a picture of the two of us in our new Chadwick's outfits. :)

IN other news, Noah has had two yellow days in school in a row and I am getting frustrated again. He hasn't had a yellow the entire month of February and hasn't had two in a row since October. I asked the teacher to step up her standards and be harder on him so that he could get ready for first grade so I know that's why but I still also know that he can avoid being disruptive in class when he wants to. His conference is next Thursday so I know I'll have a better handle on things then. We will definitely finish out this year in his current class and I have a working plan for 2nd grade in place but I am back to contemplating homeschooling for just first grade. He will be taking choir at church and Tae Kwon Do at a local studio so I don't worry about the extras and he has already read through the entire first two sets of BOB Books and we are starting on the third (which are considerably harder I must say). I haven't made a decision yet. I am hoping that Tae Kwon Do will help but unfortunately I can't afford to start him until the "rebate" comes and I don't know how long I'll be able to keep him in before the funds run out.

So my little post about this morning's weight loss has turned into a vent, once again. That seems to keep happening. Shame on me.

Oh well, I think I should end this entry on a happy note so I'll share the newest use for my
trampoline last week...a great place to spill
ALL of the little legos to see what they want to use. Guess how long it took to clean up these little suckers?




We're supposed to get yet another snow slam tonight...Is it Spring yet?

Happy Thursday.

WOW!

THANK YOU...THANK YOU...THANK YOU!!!!!!

I must say that when I started writing yesterday about my inner turmoil, I was thinking it was a big pity party. You wonderful ladies have shown me something else. Not only do I so appreciate all the kind words yesterday but I feel so encouraged that I really don't feel as if I am facing this battle alone. You strong amazing women have given me many ideas to implement and I will keep you all informed if, no when , I make some progress.

Back to my regularly scheduled blogging soon...I promise.

I'm gonna do it!

Okay, so this post will not be interesting to anybody...so don't bother reading it.

The only reason I'm writing it down is to keep myself honest. It is purely for self-motivating purposes.

I just got finished taping pictures cut out of the Chadwick's catalog all over the kitchen. I have cut the faces off.

If you are still reading this, you must be thinking at this point "What kind of sadistic person is this?"

I got the catalog two days ago and started looking. However, flipping through made me realize that wearing any single item in the catalog is a pipe dream in my current stage of personal body health.

Six years ago, the week before I found out I was pregnant with Noah, I achieved my lifetime member status at Weight Watchers.

Without any in between information, which would be purely derogatory anyway, I am now quite a bit above what I was when I started that Weight Watchers journey the first time. I tried over the years but with just lack a serious amount if will power.

Watching Biggest Loser has become a struggle because of my constant bottoming out (literally) of self image and I do believe this has led me down a path of self destruction including taking the kids down with me. My current size of jeans is bursting and I REFUSE to break out the "fat jeans" I guess I would rather suffer from stomach aches every day. How stupid is that?

My sister has also struggled, yet I've watched her become physically active and running in numerous races and attaining her fitness goals. She has become what I wish I could be. I have resorted to excuses (what do I do with the kids, I can't afford going anywhere, I just don't feel like jumping on the mini trampoline for an hour) and I am beginning to feel like it is a battle that can't be won.

Then the Chadwick's catalog came.

Now, I have to face reality that shorts weather is coming. I couldn't possibly wear a single thing in that catalog without looking like a bloated whale. I don't want to feel this way anymore.

I thought maybe I could buy a new pass to Weight Watchers with our tax refund but what am I supposed to do with the kids? When Aaron and Noah were little, I got kicked out of a meeting because the kids were making too much noise and I never went back.

So after a lot of time on the computer last night looking up different options, I got out the booklet from so many years ago and I am going to try it again. I really won't be able to do it all at once. I will start with the calories and go from there. Hopefully, I will add the physical in as I go...back to jumping on the stupid trampoline since we will never be able to afford going to a gym and it is just too darn cold to go outside.

I really thought I could wait a while longer. I thought that we would have one more bundle of joy and then I would worry about it. It doesn't seem to be in the cards and I no longer want to use this as an excuse.

I know I can do it. I've done it before. I just want to feel good about myself again. I want to stop feeling so bad that I take my frustration out on my kids. I want to stop feeling like a blimp every time we get together with Steve's family (I think the combined jeans size of the other three sisters-in-law adds up to mine). I want to feel pretty. I want my husband to look at me and see the person that he sees on the inside.

And best yet, the day I attain my goal...I WILL buy those items from the Chadwick's catalog!