Friday, January 18, 2008

It may be working

My two little boys are 27 months apart. I believe it was the perfect span. They are getting close enough to play together.

But they are also close enough to argue...and fight...and tease...A LOT.

All I ever wanted was for my little boys to be kind and loving to each other. Recently, it has not worked out that way. Especially in the car. I don't believe it is bad enough for SuperNanny or anything but it was frustrating that every time one child said something, the other purposely said the opposite, just to be mean. I just couldn't understand.

A little while ago, I was speaking about the problem to Beth, a friend of mine who has the exact same age boys as mine. Here is a picture of my boys with hers on a recent trip to their house in Wisconsin. We don't see each other often but when we do get the rare chance to talk, we can pick up right from where we left off. They had the same problem with Alex and Dylan. Around the same time, Beth was frustrated that they didn't have a guest room in their house. So she moved her two boys into the same bedroom, for the space. She said it was the best thing they ever did for the boys' relationship.

Well, we have a very small three bedroom house. But the bedroom upstairs is a long room, the length of the house. I recently found out that the former family raised four kids in this house, three in the upstairs bedroom. So over Christmas break we decided to try it. The room is big enough so they each have their own space, yet they are together.

It has been rough going. Aaron is an early riser....always has been. Noah, until the big switch, has always been a very good sleeper. Right to sleep...sleep in until morning. Aaron has been talking a lot at bedtime and waking Noah up in the morning. These are issues we are working on.

Because of these issues, we decided to put them asleep in separate rooms (Aaron in our bedroom) until they fall asleep. So Tuesday night we had a babysitter while I was still at work and Steve went to Barbershop rehearsal. She put them to bed in separate like she was told. When I walked in the door, Noah came down the stairs. "Mommy, I can't sleep up there all alone...I need Aaron" My heart just melted. I noticed Aaron peeking out my bedroom door during this entire interchange. So I asked them,, "Will you be quiet?" and they both said yes so I moved him upstairs and they both went right to bed. I was so happy that they finally seemed to be liking each other. The next few nights we have started hanging out on the bottom of the stairs just shushing them (Actually, shushing Aaron, Noah wants to go to sleep) and I think it's getting better every night.

But here's the thing. I DO actually think they are getting along better. Aaron has a few speech issues and in the last week ahas started saying the "S" sound really well. Noah more often than not has been saying "Good S Aaron" and other nice things to Aaron without prompting. No, they're not totally BFFs but there has been a lot less shouting and a lot more friendly behavior in the house. Is it really possible that sharing a room really does help their bonding?

Plus, I love having all the toys in the house in one room. As messy as the house gets with toys, it only takes the boys and me about 15 minutes to get the toys all picked up.

Wow, this post is a bit of a ramble. Probably because I am writing it while nagging Noah to get dressed for school (for about the 10th time) and Aaron is a one man band with a drum, maracas, and whistle he found in the playroom (as Aaron's old room is now called). It is very hard to concentrate with all the activity but it ensures that I will get some snuggle time before we have to leave to take Noah to school. The roads are slippery this morning and the wind chill is not supposed to get above zero for the next three days.

Have a great Friday.


Deb - Mom of 3 Girls said...

I'm so glad that it's starting to work! And I love how you've got their bedroom set up - I wish we had a large bedroom like that for Abby and Hannah.

I think you'll notice them start to get along better now that Aaron's getting older and more able to play and interact with Noah more on his level. Things got much easier for us once the older girls hit that stage.

Yay for snuggle time! :)

Summer said...

Our boys are 17 months apart and have been in the same room since Obi-Wan was 10 months. They are great friends but they do their share of fighting. I think it's inevitable.

Thanks for your kind comments on my last post. :)

Anonymous said...

I agree with you that sharing a room helps siblings bond. Odin finally is showing an interest in Ronin now that they share a room. He actually kissed him at Target today. Very exciting! I think Odin and Kira really bonded when we were on vacation and were forced to share all of their time together. Love all the pictures.
Stay warm.

~Amber~ said...

My sister and I shared a room and I definitely think it helped with the bonding. I am glad they are starting to get along better! :)

Jocelyn said...

My boys are babies are babies right now, ten months apart. They are not sharing a room yet but this weekend hubby and I are actually working to set them up to sleep in the same room. We thought maybe have them start early so they get used to each other. From what we can see right now they seem to be fond of each other. LOL. But we'll see..BTw, my two little boys are 30 months old and ten months old. :)
Thanks for the ramble, I will remember this when we get to that point with ours. :)

Melany aka Supermom said...

My boys share a bedroom. They always have. They don't have to since we have enough rooms for each to have their own rooms. However from the first day we moved them out of our room, the shared a room. And not only a room but also a double bed. They are the best of friends...they lie talking to each other before bed, spend lots of time chatting after waking up. So it could be true - kids being better friends if they share a room