Today was another fun day. The boys were both extremely well behaved again and all of the kids participated much better. The middle school kids are starting to get their skits in order and I just need to put the Thursday night program together this afternoon.
At the same time, I was sobbing all the way home. I am shocked at how sad I am ...Let me explain. I have done the VBS music for our church for eight years now. The first year was in cooperation with the catholic church across the street, the next three years were with another woman from our church. Three years ago, she left our church and I took over as sole music leader. At that time, I revamped the entire program and it has been extremely successful. I usually come out of the week exhausted but proud of the work we did.
As this summer has progressed, I have noticed that we are one of the few churches left that do VBS in the mornings. The majority of churches have moved to evening VBS to get more volunteers. I just found out that our church is headed in that direction for next year.
As my sole income is in three evenings of the week, there will be no way possible for me to participate next year. We live a half hour from church so there is no way Steve will be able to get home from work, feed the boys and get them out to participate, even if I am not involved. I am crying as I write this. I just feel like yet another picece of my church home is being ripped from me. I put so much of myself into the VBS music program and I will no longer have that joy. My kids will also no longer be able to attend VBS at the only place they have ever known as church.
I need to stop writing because I am so upset that I just yelled at the kids. I will need to pray for peace over this and not let it affect me the rest of the week, knowing that this is my last time. I hope to return to cheerful posts later.
But for now, I need to go have a good cry...
Update...it's been a few hours and I seem to be over my PMS weep attack. I am still sad but it is just the way things are. We still have two more fun days left and I plan to enjoy them...thanks for the cyber hugs sent my way...
12 comments:
I cannot believe that the powers that be would not have consulted with those that were intimately involved in the VBS program... it is a huge loss for them to do this and not have you as a part of it. I know how sad you are now, and I do hope that you that we all are behind you (for what it is worth) and hope that you can stay strong through all of the turmoil that this is sending your way!
{{hugs}}
Oh Kristi, I am so sorry for you. I will pray for you also, maybe the Lord will work within you through this. There is a reason for everything even if you don't know it right now. Can you take that week off? Maybe save throughout the year to cover it?
I think you should just have a good cry. Sometimes that can make a world of difference.
"I will need to pray for peace over this and not let it affect me the rest of the week, knowing that this is my last time." That is the best thing you can do. Sometimes God has a different path for us. Just trust Him. He knows what He is doing!
Hugs!
I am so sorry! HUGS!
When God closes a door, he/she opens a window...
Thermodynamics are sometimes such that you might be surprised; if enough people are really into what you have done, than those detached individuals in the upper echelons of power might have a problem on their hands...
Or it is time to move on to someone who truly appreciates what you do...
Because we (those who read this blog) do...
I can't imagine why they would consider changing it. They have such a great program the way it is, and it seems like attendance is great. If everyone else does it at night, then they're meeting a need for parents who don't want their kids up late at night. Not to mention losing their music coordinator - that would be a hard post to fill, especially with trying to find anyone who could do the job even half as well as you do. I've watched you this week - and you do an awesome job! You are the one leading the kids during the group music, doing all of the hand motions with them, making sure everyone knows what's going on... I don't think that your church appreciates you even close to as much as they should.
Hugs...
Oh, I'm so sorry, and can imagine how painful it must be to lose something so dear to you, and that you are so good at.
But HE doesn't make mistakes, and there are reasons why this is happening. Keep trusting and looking to the future through the grief.
I've noticed that VBS at many churches around here have also switched to the evenings. Apparently everyone's at work/daycare during the day :(
I can only echo what others have written,--
I wonder if you explained your position to the church--that might change their plans?
What you provide for them is beyond measure!
Sending prayers your way
I am sorry too. I am not so good with change myself...but sometimes it creates new opportunities. Something wonderful will come out of this!!
Best wishes for a great rest of VBS!
I hope things are going well for you. I'm sorry you will be losing this part of your life. I can tell it is really important to you. Sending hugs. Sorry I've been absent for so long. I don't know where the time goes!
I am so sorry you are sad. Maybe things will change by this time next year. Lots of hugs!
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